Watch the full episode Mastering Conflict by Bridging Differences with Fred Dust.
Meetings are so essential to teamwork. They allow team members to come together, brainstorm new ideas and solutions, resolve conflicts and disagreements, identify roadblocks, and track progress. But, they only work if they’re done well! Else people can start to feel disengaged, and may engage in quiet quitting.
In a chat with our founder, Dr. Hitendra Wadhwa, Fred Dust, renowned designer, creative strategist, and author of Making Conversation, shared two simple practices that can help your team relax and bring out the best in each other during meetings.
Quiet Acts of Mindfulness
Fred shared a story about his colleague, Beth: “She’s known as the woman who wouldn’t listen…and then she did.” Beth had a knack for knowing how meetings would end right from the start. While her foresight was impressive, it posed a challenge because others needed time to catch up — so skipping ahead wasn’t the solution.
Fred pondered how to address this and decided to cut back on the coffee during these meetings: “Less of the twenty-four-ounce venti espresso or maybe have some tea, that was my prescription.” This, unfortunately, didn’t lead to much progress.
But then something funny happened — the baby boom. Beth pledged that she would make blankets for every baby in her life. To stick with this goal, she was crocheting nonstop. And guess what? Beth brought her crocheting into meetings too. Fred thought, “Very gendered, right? Here’s a woman bringing baby blankets into a room full of gender perceptions.”
However, there was an unexpected outcome: her quiet crocheting actually slowed things down significantly. There was a lot more silence. And Beth, glancing up in between, started offering insightful observations at the right moments.
Interacting with an indigenous historian from the Southwest, Fred learned how women in villages, while husking corn, end up making the most important decisions for their communities. As it turns out, there’s a wealth of scientific evidence supporting the effectiveness of practices like knitting and mindfulness activities such as doodling in enhancing clarity during conversations and shaping their outcomes. Fred added, “People often say that you retain more when doodling than you do if you take notes.”
Silence as a Catalyst for Thoughtful Decisions
As a culture, we tend to be afraid of silence. This seeps into work environments too. To address this, Fred offers a unique practice of intentionally incorporating five minutes of silence into meetings, usually around two-thirds of the way through. This deliberate pause brings about a different kind of mental activity. Fred explains, “The psychology of creativity says that silence allows you to make connections in ways you wouldn’t otherwise. So, if you build this five-minute silence, you’ll often find people are entirely refreshed for the last third and can move forward into some action.”
Through his work, Fred Dust explores the art and science of effective communication, providing insights into how to have impactful conversations in various aspects of life.
At Mentora, we kick off each meeting with a ‘mindful moment’. This meditative tool ensures that we, as a team, are aligned with our common purpose and immediate goals alike. It relaxes our minds, rejuvenates us, and helps unburden ourselves from the affairs and distractions of the day, to then focus our attention on what matters most in that moment.
While we typically associate silence with a breather at the start of a meeting, embracing moments of quiet amidst discussions can also be pivotal in letting us “turn the corner to see the change that needs to happen and then move towards it”, as Fred puts it.
In group settings, Fred employs an unstructured approach to practice this concept. He guides leaders through an easy exercise: stepping away briefly and returning with something they cherish from their surroundings. What’s interesting is that when they share their chosen item, a minute of silence naturally follows. The enthusiasm and emotional connection while explaining their choice can be palpable, generating a sense of rejuvenation.
Be Mindful to Achieve High Performance
The need to shift mindsets is the biggest block to successful business transformations. Without gaining intrinsic commitment from your team members, you cannot urge them to pursue new projects, tasks, or transitions. Meetings provide a forum for you to nudge your team toward realizing their collective values and purpose, and eventually facilitating the mindset shift required to achieve your goals as an organization.
Leveraging meetings and the intentional pauses in between offers the means to channel your team’s emotions and efforts toward a state of high performance. Drawing from our leadership programs at Mentora centered around building high-performing teams, nurturing a sense of belonging and connection, and engaging in crucial conversations, we’ve witnessed, with our clients, the positive influence that a calm and accommodating environment can wield in terms of cultivating cooperation.
Begin to view meetings as a dedicated space for your team to enter with receptive minds and to gain mutual understanding. When your team veers off course from essential discussion points during a meeting, consider weaving in a breather — a quiet moment, a mindfulness activity — to help them gather their thoughts and realign their focus.