A time comes in our life journey when we wish to be free from the need to conform to other people’s opinions and expectations. We wish to do what our heart tells us to. And that’s a beautiful thing.

This first cry for freedom is a false cry.

For as we progress in life, we realize it is not enough to follow the heart. An untamed heart can sow confusion, pain, and rancor within us and with our loved ones.

We must first be custodians of our heart by learning to keep it pure and peaceful, attuned to the true rhythms of nature. It is then, only then, that we earn the right to do what it tells us to, for our heart can now be trusted to be our guiding light. We start to approach all our engagements from a place of grace within. And that’s a beautiful thing.

But is this the ultimate expression of our full, divine potential?

It is tempting to declare victory at this stage. We think, “I am so calm, composed, and collected. That’s all I should be responsible for.” But there is more. More growth that lies ahead.

We may believe we have perfected our thoughts, feelings, and actions, but what about the people around us? They aren’t always doing what we believe to be the right thing. And while it seems like that is their problem, we do wish for them to flourish — in our family, community, organization, nation, and indeed, all of humanity. So we start to feel a sense of stewardship over other people’s conduct. Their joy becomes our joy, their success our success.

Our heart expands.

We try to push and prod them to behave in the right ways. But if we do it merely as an act of persuasion or an exercise of power, we eventually fail. They either rebel against us, ignore us, or give us outer conformity with no inner commitment. Because we have not yet captured their hearts.

In their resistance lies the seed for our greatest breakthrough.

One day we realize that our role has been to invite, not impose. To cajole, not control. Not to show them the way, but to befriend them and get to walk in their shoes for a bit and then find a way to take them to that safe harbor that lies within, their pure and peaceful heart.

Now who is teaching whom?

When they start to operate from their heart, something powerful happens. Beautiful ideas and ideals start to manifest from them. The very things you found perplexing or quirky in them become channels through which they bring forth unique gifts of insight and action.

We discover that we were so wrong to want them to conform to our world view and to walk our path. As we discover new truths from them, we realize we hadn’t really figured it all out on our own.

And so we start to co-create with them.

The vision of a more perfect world and the way to get there is now being evolved by us in partnership with them. We don’t feel in total command over anything, and yet we feel total responsibility over everything. To do our best to bring out the best.

Then, and only then, our life becomes complete.

The outer is now in perfect harmony with the inner. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Warmly,
Hitendra

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