When I was younger, I read an old parable that you too may have heard before. I recently came across a re-telling of the same story — one that is not shared as widely — and found profound wisdom in it.

Let me first tell you the original story…

It begins with an old Cherokee chief talking to his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he says to the young boy. “It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil,” he goes on, “He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

“The other is good — he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you,” he tells his grandson, “And inside every other person, too.”

The grandson reflects on this for a minute, clearly intrigued, and then asks: “Which wolf will win?”

“The one you feed,” the old man simply replies.

This simple yet powerful tale reinforced in me an important lesson: we all have the capacity within us to direct how we think and feel about a situation. Our emotions can propel us forward in life or push us back — which is why we must strive to gain mastery over them.

Now here’s the second version of this story that ends on a different note.

In this version too, the boy asks his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”

The old man’s eyes twinkle as he offers a profound thought: “If you feed them right, they both win.”

“You see, if I only choose to feed the second wolf, the first wolf will be hiding around every corner, waiting for me to become distracted or weak and jump to get the attention he so craves,” he explains. “He will always be angry and will always fight the second wolf.”

“But if I acknowledge him,” he continues, “he is happy, and the second wolf is happy, and we all win. For the first wolf has many qualities — tenacity, courage, fearlessness, a strong will, and great strategic thinking — that I have need of at times. These are the very things that the second wolf lacks. But the second wolf has compassion, caring, strength, and the ability to recognize what is in the best interest of all.”

“You see, son, the second wolf needs the first wolf at his side,” the old man smiles. “To feed only one would starve the other and they will become uncontrollable. To feed and care for them both means they will serve you well and do nothing that is not a part of something greater, something good, something of life.”

“Feed them both,” he advises his grandson, “And there will be no more internal struggle for attention. And when there is no battle inside, you can listen to the voices of deeper knowing that will guide you in choosing what is right in every circumstance.”

The old man concludes: “Peace, my son, is the […] mission in life. [Anyone] who has peace inside has everything. [Anyone] who is pulled apart by the war inside has nothing. How you choose to interact with the opposing forces within you will determine your life. Starve one or the other — or guide them both.”

And therein lies another powerful lesson, one that I have seen validated by the latest science of human potential: emotions by themselves are seldom black or white, positive or negative. At times, seemingly ‘positive’ emotions like optimism can make us complacent and seemingly ‘negative’ emotions such as anger can give us the drive we need to right a wrong. The secret, then, I offer is that emotions aren’t inherently good or bad; rather, they might be right or wrong for a situation.

Being aware of your emotional state means more than simply recognizing what you’re feeling. It also means having the wisdom to reflect on whether that feeling is right for the moment. This awareness, then, can help you choose which wolf to feed — which emotions to let go of, which to dial down on, and which you need to intensify to best serve you and the situation you’re in.

Warmly,
Hitendra

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