Today I want to share a personal story with you.

More than a decade ago, I was spending some time at my parents’ home. My mother said to me one morning, “Son, I am so glad you’re with us today to celebrate your dad’s eightieth birthday. I’ve invited a large circle of family and friends this evening, and I want you to give a speech in honor of your dad and what he’s meant to you.” I happily accepted, then spent the whole morning trying to figure out what I would say. My father had been a pivotal influence on my life, I knew that, and I had such love and appreciation for him. But when it came to identifying specifically how he’d shaped me, I was hitting a dead end.

You see, when I was growing up, Dad wanted me to stay in my hometown after graduating from high school; I instead decided to move to New Delhi for college. He wanted me to pursue a career in law and to work for the United Nations; I instead decided to pursue consulting, entrepreneurship, and teaching. At each turning point in my life, Dad wanted me to go one way, and I went another. Was that all to the dad-and-son story? I agonized, soul-searched, and came up with nothing. And then something magical happened.

My mother had organized a group meditation at our home in the early afternoon. In that stillness, as I meditated, a veil was lifted from my mind, and a new insight arose: “If you want to uncover your father’s true impact on you, focus not on what he preached — focus on what he practiced.”

Flashes from the past raced through my mind: the grace with which my father managed his grief when his mother passed away; the moral strength with which he, as a police officer, took actions against criminals who sent him death threats; the frugal lifestyle that led to his toothbrush and razor blade becoming worn out with overuse so he could save money and secure his family’s financial future; the deep love he had for the creative force in the universe in the form of Divine Mother; the uncompromising discipline with which he performed his daily meditation; the indefatigable spirit with which he helped friends and strangers every day; the fierce resolve with which he took on causes to right certain wrongs.

My conscious mind had processed these incidents simply as “Dad being Dad,” but my unconscious mind had cataloged them for later use. Over the years, on various occasions, memories had entered my mind to guide my choices and give me inner strength. I realized during that meditation how much of who I had become was a result of the silent inspiration I had gained from the experiences where Dad was just being Dad. This is what I spoke about that evening to celebrate my father’s life, and when I saw tears well up in his and my mother’s eyes, I knew I had done justice to all that he had quietly practiced, not preached.

Take a moment today to look back at the things a loved one close to you practiced — rather than preached — and how much you learned from it.

This story is part of the chapter “Living with Wisdom” in my book Inner Mastery, Outer Impact.

Warmly,
Hitendra

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