How can we change a seemingly hopeless situation into an experience of joy? Consider the story of Bryan, narrated by Dr. Elissa Epel, an internationally renowned health psychologist, professor, and bestselling author, on my Intersections podcast.

When Bryan was 20, just married and with plans of becoming a nurse, he was drafted into the Soviet Army and sent to the Arctic for his training.

Can you imagine how hard it must have been for him to leave behind everything he cherished to engage in a 2-year training stint in a place that was 50 degrees below zero, where he could die if he didn’t secure his protective gear properly? In fact, not everyone survives this training. Even if he did survive, he might have next been drafted to serve in Afghanistan instead of going back home to his family.

Bryan’s anxiety and stress levels skyrocketed during this time, and he experienced chronic stress for a long while. Then, in the midst of hopelessness, he had a revelation.

He realized that most of what was causing him anxiety was out of his control. A simple, perhaps even obvious realization, but for Bryan, in the midst of freezing temperatures and decelerating hope, it changed everything.

He decided to see this lack of control as a unique gift that freed him from the burden of choice, and gave him the opportunity to look for joy in other places. The weight that had been crushing him suddenly lifted.

In Elissa’s words, “He started to focus on the simple comforts that existed in his day. Small things became meaningful; he felt he was connecting with others more deeply. […] He tells me that once he accepted his situation […] he was able to find moments of elation. Even small things that never used to delight him began to bring him great joy. On his single day off every week, he would go on a walk and feel sheer bliss to just be able to do as he pleased — something he’d always taken for granted before. He could go into a little market, browse the food, buy anything he wanted, and revel in the flavors. He could stop and talk to someone he met in the street — even a brief chat about the weather — and he would feel like he was absolutely soaring, just to have a casual conversation with a kind stranger. After the long week of rigid schedules, sensory deprivation, and harsh conditions, every small pleasure seemed amplified — louder, brighter, more beautiful.”

Ultimately, Bryan was not sent to Afghanistan. He came back home with a unique gift — an almost unlimited capacity to find joy, even in the most uncertain and stressful of circumstances.

I invite you to reflect on a situation you are struggling with. Amidst the constraints and impositions your circumstances have placed on you, have they also opened up pockets of opportunity for you to do or experience certain things that might give you joy?

“The more I fill my cup with joy, the less I can taste the bitterness of stress and struggle.” – Dr. Elissa Epel

Warmly,
Hitendra

Like This Newsletter?
Share it with someone who might find it valuable.