Joyful Living: Embracing the Small Moments for Lasting Happiness - Mentora Institute

Joyful Living: Embracing the Small Moments for Lasting Happiness

Watch the full episode of how Ordinary Things Can Create Extraordinary Happiness Ingrid Fetell Lee.

Human beings, psychologists claim, have six primary emotions — anger, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and joy. Joy is the only consistently positive emotion in the set. Joy evolved to signal to us that we are moving in the direction of things that are likely to increase our potential to thrive, to flourish. 

“We all have a right to thrive because that’s what we’re here for…then we do have a universal right to joy”, says Ingrid Fetell Lee, designer and author whose groundbreaking work reveals the hidden influence of our surroundings on our emotions and wellbeing. Her book, Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness, delves into how the ordinary spaces and objects we encounter daily have unexpected and potent effects on our mood.

Ingrid urges us to tap into the potential of our surroundings to lead more fulfilling, healthier, and truly joyful lives.

The Relationship Between Joy and Happiness

While we often use “joy” and “happiness” interchangeably in everyday conversations, Ingrid points out a key distinction. Happiness, from a scientific perspective, involves a broad assessment of how we perceive our lives over time. It encompasses our sense of purpose, feelings about work, health, and our connections with others. It’s a complex equation. On the other hand, joy is simpler and more immediate. Psychologists define joy as a strong, momentary experience of positive emotion. It’s something we can easily recognize through physical signs like smiling, laughter, or feeling like jumping for joy. Ingrid notes, 

 “I think that as a culture, we tend to be obsessed with the pursuit of happiness, with this idea of a long-lasting, happily ever after; we’ll find it, and then we’ll just have it, and we won’t have to do anything to maintain it. We’ll just get there.” 

This pursuit is commonly linked to major life milestones—getting a promotion, buying a house, having a child or a partner—and the idea that we’ll be happy once we reach them. But life rarely fits this neat narrative. Such a ‘durable state’ of happiness is hard to find.

What’s more accessible are those small moments of joy. They can be so subtle that we tend to overlook them, thinking they’re trivial. Yet, they’re vital because they form the foundation of true happiness and well-being.

This isn’t to suggest that every moment can be transformed into joy. Ingrid suggests that on any given day, we can uncover moments of joy — even during challenging times. Perhaps you encounter three moments of joy in a day, not every moment, but they are still attainable even in the toughest moments.

Allowing these little moments of joy into your life, especially when you’re grieving or facing hardship, makes you more resilient. Those who practice this are more likely to recover from trauma or loss, gain a sense of perspective, and experience improved health and well-being instead of being weighed down by tragedy.

Practice Joy Spotting

Ingrid’s journey into the world of joy began while she was studying Industrial Design. During her first year of graduate school, a professor told her that her work made him feel joyful. She looked at all the things she had made over the course of the semester lined up on a table — cups, a stool, a lamp — and thought, How does that create joy? 

Her curiosity wasn’t driven by a fascination with joy itself but by a simple question: How can something you can touch and see make someone happy? She started asking people about the things and places that brought them joy. She noticed that certain things kept coming up, like bubbles, cherry blossoms in spring, confetti, rainbows, polka dots, and bright colors. What was interesting was that these things brought joy to people from all walks of life, no matter their age, gender, or where they came from. And out of this exercise emerged a clearer understanding of joy and even the universality of what can evoke joy in all of us. 

For those seeking to consciously craft joy into their everyday life, Ingrid offers a simple habit. She calls it ‘joy spotting’:

“It’s going out into your surroundings with an eye toward looking for joy. You don’t have to know all the aesthetics of joy. You don’t have to have anything specific in mind. You can do it while you’re walking your dog or just taking a walk around the block. Just tune your senses and start to notice. What do you see that brings you joy?

It might be something as ordinary as a bright orange traffic cone on a gloomy winter day. Take a moment to look at it, and you might notice how the sunlight hits it in a pleasant way. Or you might stumble upon confetti left over from a celebration. Whether you’re in a busy city or a quiet natural setting, there are countless things that can bring you joy. Ingrid adds, “I think even if it’s just fifteen minutes, take your time to notice that there are things in your surroundings that can give you joy.”

"Joy is the only consistently positive emotion"

Learn how to find joy in the small things and create a more fulfilling and joyful life with Ingrid Fetell Lee

Finding Joy and Your True Self

Anne Franks’ diary offers profound lessons on living amid adversity and discovering one’s authentic self. At just thirteen years of age, she and her family sought refuge in the concealed annex of a building in Amsterdam, escaping the brutal persecution of Jews by Nazi Germany. For two years, Anne shared cramped quarters with her family and four others, documenting her experiences and inner thoughts in her diary. 

Within Anne’s writings, we encounter not only the relatable, endearing facets of humanity as she grapples with external turmoil but also the soaring, heroic dimensions of her spirit as she reflects, loves, learns, thrives, and evolves. Amidst the turmoil of her time, Anne managed to unearth her true self and find solace in the simple joys around her. Her timeless words resonate: “I’ve found that there is always some beauty left — in nature, sunshine, freedom, in yourself; these can all help you.” Ingrid’s observations align with this sentiment, emphasizing that it is the accumulation of life’s small joys that imparts beauty and, often, meaning to our existence.

Now that you’ve finished reading this article, why not give joy spotting a try? Put your phone or laptop aside for a moment, take a stretch, and look around. Think about what could bring you joy right now.

Once you’ve discovered something that brings you joy, don’t hesitate to share it with others. Joy has this wonderful quality that we experience even more of it by sharing. Whether you send a text to a friend or share it with a wider audience, take a moment to acknowledge the joy you’ve found, and then go ahead, spread the joy.